A Long Overdue Update

I’ve neglected you internet.  I’ve been out and about with no word of where I’m going or when I’ll be home.  But, no matter how badly I treat you, I know you’ll always be there for me.  Just like my right hand.  (Editor’s Note: Particularly relevant because I punched through a piece of wood about half an inch thick in Tae Kwon Do two days ago and my knuckles are still swollen.)  So I come bearing the gift of text to help satisfy your insatiable appetite for data.  Just don’t tell SOPA.

I’ve done stuff and things since my last entry, so I suppose I’ll limit this post to the best stories I’ve got from the last 5 weeks or so since we last spoke (er, I last typed and you remained an unaware vacuum of information sucking up my data).  I’ve got two funny students to tell you about, two humorous tales of romantic failure, and one with a seemingly bright future.  Off we go.

So my favorite student at Yeonji elementary is undoubtedly a little girl I affectionately call “Monkey Face.”  Monkey Face is in third grade, and has the most fun personality in the entire school.  While most students lie to my face calling me “handsome,” Monkey Face tells it like it is.  One day, out of the blue, she walked up to me and said “Teacher Ugly Face!” with a mischievous grin on her face.  I responded by saying “No, Teacher Handsome Face!  Student Ugly Face!”  She proceeded to call me “Monkey Face,” so I called her “Lizard Face,” and on it went.  For whatever reason, Monkey Face was the moniker that stuck.  Whenever she sees me in school she yells “MONKEY FACE!” to which I always reply “No, YOU’RE Monkey Face!”  My schedule changes next semester, and I’ll be thoroughly bummed if I don’t get to teach her again.  She’s awesome.

My second favorite student is a kid in my after school class named Dong Ho.  Dong Ho is an excellent English student; his speaking skills, listening skills, and vocabulary all vastly exceed those of his peers.  He’s also fun because, unlike most of his peers, he is loud an uninhibited.  Most Korean students are pretty shy, but Dong Ho loves to yell and play and make weird faces.  He often calls himself a “crazy guy,” but when I say “Yes, Dong Ho, you are crazy,” he insightfully reminds me “We’re all crazy.”  Anyway, my favorite story with Dong Ho was one day, maybe a month ago, I was explaining a vocabulary word.  I forget why, but I chose to explain the word using an example between a father and son.  So I said to the class “Pretend Dong Ho is my son,” and I began walking toward him to carry out the example.  Dong Ho leapt out of his chair and yelled “Daddy!!” with his arms outstretched, seemingly asking for a hug.  So I said “Oh, son!” and went to hug him.  But when I got close he leapt at me, released a menacing “AAAHHHH!!” and pretended to punch me in the face.  It was hysterical.

But on to what you came here to read about: my quest to touch Korean women.  My first story of failure was perplexing to say the least.  I went on a date with a girl who is friends with other Max’s girlfriend.  I had never met her in person, but I was given her number and we’d been texting for about week.  Anyhow, we meet up for dinner and everything is going great.  When she goes to the bathroom, Max’s girlfriend tells me that her friend told her (in Korean, obviously) that she thought I was really handsome and liked talking to me.  After dinner, we went to another bar and this girl started planning future dates for us.  I mentioned an ice skating rink and she said “we should go there together!”  I mentioned a restaurant I like and she said “We should go there sometime!”  The sailing appeared to be smooth.

But after the bar we went to a club called Blue Monkey.  I don’t really like Blue Monkey.  The music is really terrible -- just club remixes (generally awful) of already awful American pop songs and the volume is oppressive; whenever I spend an evening there I go to bed with my ears ringing.  So at the Blue Monkey club, this girl just disappeared.  She saw some friend of hers and just took off.  We said maybe three things to each other during the two hours or so we were there, and then she ended up leaving without saying goodbye.  I sent her a facebook message the next day saying I was confused and wondered if she still wanted to go ice skating.  She got back to me with a vague response three days later, which I decided to just ignore.

My second story of failure is less confusing and more amusing.  One night, Nick, Doug, Max and I went to this new bar in Kyungsung called L-Zone.  L-Zone has this deal where you pay about $10 and get unlimited drinks.  They also have several sets of Jenga and a Wii, so it’s a pretty fun place.  This evening, we were playing Jenga with some Korean guys we met and I drank probably 5 glasses of beer.  At least I thought it was beer.  I later learned that it was beer mixed with soju, which is roughly twice as potent as regular beer.  As a result, the end of my night is a bit hazy.  Here’s what I did remember: over the course of the night I had prolonged conversations with two girls.  I ended up with one girl’s number.  Her name was Kahlin.  The problem?  I couldn’t remember which of the two girls was named Kahlin.

Flash forward to the next weekend (Christmas Eve).  I had sent Kahlin a few texts trying to ascertain her identity, but the attempts were futile.  I ended up at the Blue Monkey, and a girl started talking to me.  I knew she was familiar, but I couldn’t quite recall her name.  Why I was unable to put two-and-two together I have no idea, but I ended up just asking her “Sorry, could you remind me of your name again?”  She looked at me with an understandably pissed-off expression and said “Uh, I’m Kahlin.”  Being the suave gentleman that I am, I replied, “Well, I guess I blew that.”  Kahlin was none too pleased, and concluded her time would be better spent elsewhere.

Normally, I’d be upset with myself for blowing it with Kahlin, as she’s a pretty attractive woman.  But I wasn’t upset in the least.  Why, you ask?  Because moments earlier I was approached by an even more attractive woman.  Right as I walked in to Blue Monkey, this girl taps me on the shoulder and says “I saw you the other day at Thursday Party.”  In my head, I realize this means that this girl saw me, remembered me, and, for some inexplicable reason, liked what she saw so much that she approached me, which is very rare for Korean women.  Right on.

As I’ve said, Blue Monkey is oppressively loud so we were unable to do much talking.  But I’d drank enough beers to be willing to dance to awful music, particularly because I had an attractive women to do it with.  So we danced and danced, apparently for nearly three hours.  By the end we got into this cycle where I’d put my hands on her hips and she’d put her arms around my neck, and then she’d turn around and proceed to “freak dance” with me in the gentlest way possible for maybe three seconds, and then she’d get nervous and run away.  It was really cute.  Added bonus: the girl, Myung Su, came with a friend and Nick ended up chatting and dancing with her.  We both left with their numbers.  As I said to Nick at the end of the night, “Usually the Monkey just throws his shit at you but every so often he gives you a banana.”

Now I’d scheduled a date via text for Saturday (New Year’s Eve – figuring midnight may facilitate a first kiss), but on Friday night she texted me asking what I was up to.  I told her I’d just finished dinner and was at a bar with my friends, and she texted back “I see you!!”  Turns out she was at the same bar with her friend, so I went over to talk with them.  Her friend was vetting me pretty hard, but I’m confident I passed her tests.  I had them laughing a lot.  At one point Myung Su told me that I was making her laugh so much that I was giving her a headache.  The potential boyfriend in me was concerned for her well-being, but the comedian in me was brimming with pride.

Last night we had our first official date.  We went to this Italian place and shared a pizza and a steak and lobster surf and turf platter.  It was the first steak I’d had in Korea, and the first time I’d had lobster in a while.  Good stuff.  After dinner we went this bar called The Dugout, which has 400ml draft beef for $2.50, and the free bar snack is nachos.  We talked and had a few drinks, and then went to Blue Monkey for their New Year’s party.  The theme was stop-light, which means they give you glow bracelets to indicate your relationship status.  Green means “single,” yellow means “dating,” and red means “taken.”  I wanted no part of deciding our status, so I just followed Myung Su’s lead.  She asked for a yellow and green bracelet.

We got there around 10:30pm, so there wasn’t much dancing.  We just sat in the corner, got drinks and talked.  At some point I put my arm around her, which she responded to positively.  By midnight we’d gotten pretty touchy, so I tried to kiss her at the end of the New Year’s countdown.  She turned her head so I kissed her on the cheek.  But she then gave me a sly smile, which I took to mean that she was going to make me work for it.  It turned out that her final Long Island Iced Tea did all the work for me, because a half hour later she started kissing me in the middle of the dance floor.  She then led me to a staircase behind the DJ, sat down, pulled me next to her, and started kissing me again.  About a minute later, a guy taps me on the shoulder and says “Hey man, I don’t mean to ruin your game, but just a heads up some guy puked here a while ago.  I stand to reveal my pants absolutely covered in puke.  God.  Damnit.  But I did get to kiss a Korean woman (who is 29!), so overall I consider the evening a win.

Funny Stories and Funny Shirts

Two funny stories today from my after-school classes.  The first doesn’t have any great quotes or anything, I’d just forgotten how funny kids are when they’re upset.  Two kids, Kim Ujin and I Yunmin, were upset with each other after class.  You see, to get my kids to talk more I divided them into three teams, and then I make each a day competition.  The team that talks the most wins the day, and the team with the most wins at the end of the semester gets candy (little do they know I’ll give them all candy).  Anyway, Kim Ujin’s team, team 1, beat team 2 by only one point today.  After class, Kim Ujin and I Yunmin were arguing in Korean.  They wouldn’t/couldn’t elaborate with me about what, and I’m unsure who started it.  Anyway, I made them both apologize to each other and shake hands.  They were super mopey about doing this, which was hysterical.  I struggled to keep a straight face. 

Before I get the second story, I must explain my famous new acronym: TTT.  TTT refers to “Teacher Tummy Time,” because whenever we stretch in the beginning of class my shirt rides up and my tummy is visible.  This always generates a big (negative) reaction from students, so I always say “Relax, it’s just TTT.”  My fifth graders have really taken a liking to this phrase, and whenever we are going to stretch Gwon Hyok always yells “TTT!”  The students then accuse each other of liking TTT, which always leads me to proclaim “Everyone loves TTT!”

Anyhow, today’s stretching started out like any other.  I told the kids to stand up and Gwon Hyok shouted “TTT!”  But then I Dongmin, a kid who was initially fairly quiet but now is more vocal and I’ve really taken a liking to, pointed and me and said with a menacing face “Teacher, cover your T!”  I nearly died laughing.  Since I was sweatpants today (it’s gotten effin’ cold), I pulled them up.  When we stretched toward the sky, my T was successfully covered the students gave me a loud ovation. 

Another funny moment worth noting today, though not technically a story, is that today’s after school topic was “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong.  At the end of class, when we sing together, I told the kids I’d give bonus points if they sang in Louis’ voice.  Their renditions were pretty priceless.

Before I sign off, there are some funny shirts I’ve been meaning to share.  So here they are, in no particular order.

• A sweatshirt featuring a cartoon character with a smiling face and a circle for a stomach, though just lines for arms and legs.  A shooting star was coming out of the stomach and the following is written below, in all caps, “I AM OF THAT BOOMING HAPPY FEELING”
• A black sweatshirt featuring block neon letters which read “MAKE LOVE NOT BABIES”
• A t-shirt that looked like one of those generic Abercrombie Athletic shirts (or whatever brand makes them) but the front just said “SPORTS” across the chest with a big “23” covering the rest of the front.  Then in the bottom right there was one of those “Since 1978” stamps, because that’s when sports were invented.
• A hoodie with a big smiley face and a caption below reading “Be Smile.”

Girls Update and School Social

Heya gang!  It's the update you've all been waiting for!  And by that, of course, I mean it's the update no one is waiting for but I'll write about it anyway on the internet to feel important.

So, when we last spoke Stella Rocky had agreed to go on a date with me, but didn't return my call to schedule said date.  I texted her on Wednesday, and she didn't respond.  So I texted here again hours later, saying something along the lines of "I guess you changed your mind on dinner, no worries I'll cease bugging you.  Take care."  She responded to that one within a half hour, apologizing and saying that she was in Seoul and only just saw my messages.  She texted me again to say that she'd be returning to Busan next week.  I responded by saying "Right on.  Have a blast in Seoul!  Still interested in dinner once you're back?"  But she didn't get back to me on that one.  The Stella Rocky dream has died.

Luckily, I got a very positive response from Bobby, the girl I'd met at Halloween.  She agreed to do dinner, which we had last night.  It started poorly, as I beat her to the agreed meeting spot and proceeded to check my hair in a window.  Of course, as I'm checking my hair, she walks up and says "Don't worry, you look good" in a teasing tone.  It threw me off a bit, but being the champion I am with the ladies I quickly recovered.  As we walked to the restaurant, I somehow mentioned this dinner being a date (I forget how it came up, I don't know why I would just say it randomly.  I suspect she said something to trigger my comment, but if she did I don't remember what she said), and she quickly said "How do you know this is a date?  We could barely talk in that loud club."  Again, she caught me a bit off guard, but again, being a smooth lady champion, I said "Well, when you could hear them, you did laugh at the jokes I made.  And you approached me, so you must like the way I look, and therefore obviously want my body."  She laughed and told me fair enough.

The date proceeded to go really well.  As you could hopefully tell from the above paragraph, unless I'm a terrible writer (which is very possible), Bobby is playful and sassy.  Which is exactly my type.  She was also more attractive than I'd remembered (I remembered thinking she looked good when I met her, but last night she looked good), and didn't wear much makeup, if any (huge plus in my book).  I also dig her social perception.  Over dinner, she said she didn't like most foreign guys because they are "douchebags," a sentiment I agree wholeheartedly with.  But even more impressive, she'd keenly noticed that many of these guys "strut around like they're Superman because Koreans love white people, but back home they are probably losers."

After dinner, we went to this Indian restaurant/hookah bar.  They had semi-private stalls with translucent cloth dividing each eating area.  Bobby got a Jasmine tea, as alcohol makes her easily sick (when she does drink she told me she'll have 1/3 of a beer) and I got a beer.  We talked for an hour and a half about all sorts of stuff.  She had a big Saturday coming up so she headed home around 11:30, but we talked and connected for a solid 3 hours.  Ended the evening with a hug and I told her I wanted to see her again soon.  I really hope it works out because I'm ready to retire from the Korean singles scene.

So that's the girls update.  The only other noteworthy thing to happen to me since my last blog post was a school social hike followed by dinner on Wednesday.  The hike was pretty tame, but I had a hilarious conversation with Mr. Che, another teacher.  I was telling him about Bobby, and I told him that she's 30.  And he said "Ah, Max, that's OK.  Age is just a number.  Age is not important."  And I replied "Right!  What's important is her mind."  Mr. Che looked confused and said "No, surface!  Surface is what's important!"  I guess the American idioms "Don't judge a book by it's cover," and "Real beauty is on the inside" don't get taught in South Korea.

The dinner after the hike was pretty fun.  I got drunk because the Vice Principal kept feeding me shots of Soju.  But both he and the Principal told me that they wanted me to stay another year, which I took as a nod toward my job performance.

Well that's what's happened in my life.  Sick comeback by the Sharks last night, I saw the 3rd period, OT, and the shootout after my Friday classes.

Girls and Fireworks

Being in Korea for 2 months now, I’ve seen countless beautiful Korean women walking with their arms around with shlubby white dudes.  And as a single, fairly non-shlubby white dude, I find it agonizing.  Finding a beautiful Korean to put my arm around has started to take over my thoughts.  This post reflects that, so take it as a forewarning.

But, before I get into the meat of the post, I mentioned the Lotte Giants and their playoff run.  Well, it ended in anguish.  The got crushed 8-4 in an elimination game.  The dream is dead.

OK, on to girls.

Two Wednesdays ago, I was riding the bus and I saw a gorgeous girl wearing a hat get aboard.  The hat was a camouflage Lotte Giants hat, one I’d never seen before.  I thought to myself “man, I should go talk to her.”  But I continued to sit and listen to the White Stripes (the song, in fact, was “You’re Pretty Good Looking for a Girl”).  But after 10 minutes passed, I convinced myself with the delusional logic that, if this were a movie, the score would probably be a badass song like “Hello Operator” while the dashing lead approached the beautiful lady.  So I made my move.

I walked up to girl and said “shil lae ha mi da, oh di par da ilgo” (excuse me, where sell this) and then motioned to her hat.  Luckily, she spoke English and told me that she’d bought it at the Lotte Department Store.  I complimented her on the hat, saying I’d never seen it before.  She loved it.  We continued to talk for 10 minutes or so before getting off at the same stop.  When we got off, I asked her for her number.  Before she could respond, I said “wait, nam ja chin goo isseyo?” (do you have a boyfriend?).  She laughed and said she did, but now regretted it.  I laughed and bid her adieu, pleased with myself for at least getting up and talking to her.

I got another chance to approach a lovely lady on the ultra-romantic 83-1 bus two days later, as I sat behind a stunning girl sitting with her friend and wearing a colorful jacket.  Again needing about 10 minutes to build my confidence, I approached with the same “shil lae ha mi da, oh di par da ilgo,” but this time I motioned to her jacket.  She looked a little confused as to why I’d inquire about buying a women’s jacket, so I told her that it’s just my sister’s style.  Like the last girl, this girl spoke English very well and was unbelievably flattered by the compliment.  Unlike the last girl, though, she was single (I learned she had no man in her life after she told me “I have no job, I just play all day.”  Given her beauty and expensive clothing and jewelry I assumed she had to be married to a wealthy guy, so I asked “What does your husband do?”  She looked at me in shock and exclaimed “I’m not married, I’m single!”).  We talked for the rest of the ride, maybe 20 minutes or so.  And in a stunning reversal of my normal character, I somehow managed to be charming and charismatic for the duration of the ride.  I was so charming and charismatic, in fact, that I got her number while a couple of Korean 20-something dudes looked on in envy.  Twas pretty cool.

After exchanging text messages that evening and the following Monday, I called Stella Rocky (what I call her; Stella is her English name, and her Korean name sounds like Rocky) on Wednesday to ask for a date.  She said she had to go to an aunt’s birthday the upcoming weekend, but agreed to dinner the following weekend.  I was pretty pumped about it, but when I called her this past Monday she didn’t pick up and didn’t return my call.  My co-teachers think she’s testing me/toying with me, but it took the wind out of my sails.  I’m going to try again today.  I’ll keep ya posted, internet.

Speaking of my co-teachers, it turns out that they have hysterical things to say about relationships.  My four female co-teachers ALL encouraged me to not be deterred if a girl I’m talking to has a boyfriend.  One told me that she thought I could get 80% girls I tried with that had boyfriends.  Another said “Just because there is a goal keeper doesn’t mean that it isn’t possible to score a goal” (a hilarious attempt at the more well-known “Just because there’s a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score”).  And, before leaving to call Stella Rocky for the first time, my 6^th grade co-teacher messaged me “Good Luck Bro!” over the school messaging system.  I now ask them for advice on all things girl related, as they are a wealth of information and American sayings.

And now I’m going to talk about three more things is this post: my new friend Ryan, Fireworks Festival + Halloween, and school (Editor’s Note: Probably the worst transition I’ve ever written.  I’ve spent about 10 minutes working on a decent transition and have nothing, probably because I’m an entirely mediocre writer.  I’d spend more time, but I have class coming up in 40 minutes and want to finish before then.  The closest thing I came up with was “enough about girls…” but I’m going to talk about meeting a girl on Halloween.  SO DEAL WITH IT).

First, my new friend Ryan.  In short, he’s the fucking man.  I was put in touch with him by Bosston Shangraw, my good college buddy and co-host of a boring sports radio show we put on.  Bosston had come to South Korea with a mutual friend from college who lived in Korea until he was 10.  Ryan was his childhood friend, and he has grown into a simply wonderful man.  He’s smart, funny, generous, has a car, and makes me wish I was gay.  We hung out two weekends ago to watch the international fireworks competition followed by dinner and drinks, and then the following weekend on both Friday and Saturday nights.

This past Saturday was the Busan Fireworks Festival main show.  While the international competition was pretty cool, the show on Saturday made it seem like child’s play.  The show went on for an hour and was, by far, the most impressive fireworks display I’ve ever seen.  The colors were vivid and bright.  The fireworks were not only overwhelming in volume, but also elegant and artful.  Some fell from the bridge like a waterfall.  Others exploded to have the jets of light fall together in beautiful synchronization.  Some exploded and the jets of light shot outward in a spiral pattern.  Others exploded into shapes like a cube, a smiley face, a bunny face, or to spell “BUSAN.”  I have a videos and pictures, I’ll upload them soon.

After the show Nick, Max, Doug and I went to Kyungsung and met up with Ryan.  We ended up at this bar/club called the Blue Monkey, which was pretty fun.  I love how Halloween is a holiday for everyone: kids get candy, adults get to give candy to adorable children, and immature 20-somethings like myself are treated to girls in promiscuous outfits.  I ended up meeting one such girl, who was fittingly dressed in a Hooters outfit.  I was shocked to later learn that she’s 30 years old (30 in Korean, 29 in Amurica), but that sure didn’t stop me from getting her number.

Before I sign off, I do have a few fun stories/observations to share from school.  I’ll start with three kids in 3^rd grade (all in different classes) that are just adorable.  The first is this little boy with skin a bit dark for a Korean, glasses, and a really funny sounding voice.  He is the most enthusiastic student I’ve got, and always screams the answer when we’re doing activities.  Just today, he yelled “Hello!!” to me from across the field as I walked into school.  I knew it was him immediately, as his voice is so distinct.

The second is a little boy who looks more like an undersized man.  He’s got a really adult-like shape to his face and he always wears polos with buttons (very rare for 3^rd graders) which are buttoned all the way up.  There isn’t much else that he does that’s funny, I just take delight in thinking of him as “Little Man.”

The last student is a little girl that is just the most adorable child I’ve ever seen.  Whenever she knows the answer, she always puts her hand up and shouts “Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!”  I normally would not cave to this, but she melts my heart.  When I walk into school, there are kids who come to school early to collect trash and tell people to walk around the field.  Normally, I pretend I don’t understand and walk through the field to get to the office.  But when this girl is on duty, she’ll run in front of me, yell at me in Korean, and point to the sidewalk.  Like yelling with her hand up, she’s too cute to say no to.  My favorite story, though, comes from when I was explaining a board game.  I was talking about spider squares, which have a picture of a spider and mean you have to go back to the beginning if you land on them.  Once I explained this, she shouted in the (cutest distressed voice I’d ever heard) “Oh NOOO!”

The last story to share comes from last Friday, when I was greeted with a raucous applause from my last 3^rd grade class of the day.  One kid said “Teacher Max!  You’re like famous guy!  Sign this!” and then pretended to hand me a piece of paper.  It would have been funnier if he’d pretended/actually lifted up his shirt.

OK, off to class.  Sayonara. 

Jinju Lantern Festival, Asia Song Festival, and Lotte Giants Playoff Baseball

Annyung hasseo.  This post is long overdue, so I’ll just get right to it.

Two weekends ago I went to the Jinju Latern Festival.  Jinju is about an hour from Busan by bus, and the pictures online were breathtaking.  I had to work at an English festival in the morning running a Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Donkey stand, so after a quick lunch and shower I met up with Nick and Max and we left Busan around 2pm.  The ride took a bit longer than usual, as the festival is quite popular and, thus, we hit some traffic.  But it was worth the wait.

We got off the bus and headed straight to the festival area, which all takes place in and around a small river running through downtown Jinju.  The walkways on either side of the river had food stands tons of lantern-figures (a terrible way to describe it but the best term I can think of right now.  Basically they looked like statues made of colorful translucent cloth, lit from the inside), and the river was packed with larger, more impressive lantern figures.  There were also floating walkways constructed for the festival, which made for a fun walk as they rocked constantly.  As you can imagine, the scene was particularly impressive at night, as all of the lantern-figurers in and along the river glowed.  The bridge crossing the river was also lit up, and was probably the highlight of the whole festival.  To top it off, we were treated to a brief fireworks show before we left.  I promise to get pictures up soon, I know I’m behind.  Sorry.

The next weekend, Nick, Max, Doug, and I went to Daegu for the Asia Song Festival.  Getting there by train was quite easy and surprisingly cheap.  We also stayed in a really nice hotel for a reasonable $28 per person.  We were only in a hotel since, apparently, we learned nothing from our Seoul housing disaster and failed to book a hostel far enough in advance.  But the hotel was so nice and fairly priced that we were all quite happy to pay the extra $6 to have a bigger, more comfortable bed and a private room and bathroom.

My feelings about the concert itself are more mixed.  The music was pretty awful.  That much I do know.  Aside from an electronic band from Japan called Perfume, the music was just atrocious (incidentally, when Perfume was playing we were next to a rabid Korean fan, who was insanely pumped to see them as they had previously never performed in Korea.  Not a particularly interesting comment, but I hope it brings back the memory of him when I read this years later).  However, the concert was pretty fun because the crowd was just going insane.  Also, all of the KPop girl groups were absurdly hot.  So there’s that.

After the concert, we met up with this dude named Danny.  Danny is a good friend of Aram’s, and Aram is my close friend from Occidental who spent the last year teaching in Daegu at a hogwan.  Danny was exceptionally nice and generous, inviting us up to his place for drinks and then buying us a dumpling dinner.  He was a sneaky bastard about paying the bill, too.  He went up to order us more food and then gave the lady his credit card.  It goes without saying that I bought his drinks for the rest of the night (but I’ll say it anyway).

The next morning, we woke up at an all-too-early hour (8:15am, which feels a lot earlier when you go to bed at 3:00) to train back to Busan and go to the Lotte Giants playoff game against SK.  Tickets were virtually impossible to get, but we lucked out as Nick’s co-teacher got tickets and then had to attend a wedding.  He seemed so dejected about it; I felt really bad.  For maybe 10 seconds.

The game was crazy.  I’d been to two Lotte Giants games previously, but they did not compare.  The stadium was buzzing.  The visiting team, SK, had a raucous cheering section.  We were sitting right by them, which I knew would either result in awesomeness or an unrelenting urge to cry.  Only time would tell.

The game started great.  Right when we walked in, the Lotte pitcher picked off the SK runner on 2^nd base to end the top of the inning.  Then Kim Ju Chon, the leadoff hitter and OK Guy’s brother, homered in the bottom of the first.  By the 2^nd, we (yes, I’m on the team now) were leading 3-0.  A guy sitting near us had gotten his hands on a few SK towels, and after I gave him the thumbs up for jeering the SK section, he gave me one, too.  By the 3^rd inning, an old lady SK fan came up and snatched our towels, and proceeded to yell at both of us in Korean.  It was a pretty hysterical scene.

In the 4^th inning though, SK clawed its way back into it.  They scored 3 in the top half, but Lotte responded with a run in the bottom of the inning.  This left the score at 4-3 after 4 innings.  By the 8^th, however, SK had taken a 6-5 lead.  I was starting to hate sitting by the SK section, though I had to admit that sitting a few rows in front of their cheerleaders was a sweet consolation prize.  In the bottom of the 8^th, though, Lotte’s star I Dae Ho hit a game-tying RBI single.  Then, after a quick top half of the 9^th, Lotte came back up with a chance to win it.

The leadoff hitter hit a double.  The next guy singled to left, putting runners on 1^st and 3^rd with no outs.  The next batter grounded out weakly to the pitcher, putting runners on 2^nd and 3^rd with one out.  After an intentional walk, the bases were loaded.  A hit or flyball wins the game.  Of course, the batter instead opts for double play.  God.  Damnit.

In the top of the 10^th, SK’s number 8 hitter leads off the inning with a home run.  It got out by about a foot.  Lotte goes 1, 2, 3 in the bottom of the 10^th and we lose.  Great game, but a maddening ending.

As it stands now (4 days later, the aforementioned game was Game 1) series is 2-1 SK, best of 5.  Lotte has to win tonight in Seoul to bring the series back home for Game 5.  I’ve got my fingers crossed.

Well that’s all I’ve got.  And, quite frankly, I’ve gotta go watch Kung Fu Panda with children.  So I’ll be talking to ya.  So long.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things

So today I was playing a game with 6th graders as part of the "I want" lesson.  The game was made through powerpoint using animated gifs.  After the team picked their question, the kids had to say "I want to (what's pictured)."  So kids would have to say things like "I want to play soccer," "I want to dance," etc.

This one team picked a question which showed a cartoon character drinking an enormous bottle of brown liquid.  The word "COLA" was written on the bottle in giant red letters.  When I showed the gif, the team said "I want to drink."  The answer written on the slide was "I want to drink cola," so I said "I want to drink what?"  Almost immediately, one kid yelled "WHISKEY!!"

Me too, kid.  Me too.

A Couple Student Interactions I Don't Want to Forget

Yesterday I had my 4^th grade after school class.  We were going to read the story “Silly Sally.”  As students tend to come a bit late, I generally have some music playing to help the time pass.  One girl had asked me to play “Heal the World” by MJ a few days earlier, so I decided to open this class with “We are the World.”  One of my favorite students is this kid named Ha Taeuk, a hyperactive little dude who screams his answers with enthusiasm, even if he’s only thought it halfway through.  I’ll take it; it’s better than kids who won’t talk.

Anyway, I’m in front of the class singing the chorus when Ha Taeuk come up dancing next to me.  The next time the chorus plays, I use a pen to mime a microphone and, after it repeats a couple times, I put the microphone in front of him.  My thoughts were he’d have picked up that “we are the children” (or at least something phonetically close) comes after “we are the world.”  Instead, he just screamed “YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!!!” into the pencrophone.  Pretty classic, but I guess you had to be there.

Another moment I’d like to remember happened a couple weeks ago, but I neglected to mention it in a previous post.  During class, one of my third graders raised his hand and yelled “Teacher!!  Teacher!!”  When I called on him, he shouted “Teacher have many furs!”

Seokbulsa Temple and a Weekend in Seoul

Oh hey America.  Long time no talk.  Been reading about the whole Occupy Wall Street movement.  Pretty rad, glad to see how rapidly it’s spreading.  Kinda makes me wish I was back home so I could do some marchin’, yellin’, and sign-bearin’.  But anyhoo, no one wants to hear about my generic political opinions.  My insane traffic (read: 1 hit/day) is generated by my wild, inspirational tales of travel.  So on we go.

Two weekends ago I want to the Seokbulsa Temple with Nick, Max, and Doug.  Doug is a Canadian, hails from Ottawa, who lives in the same area and Max and me.  Really cool dude, so cool I’ll forgive him for liking the Senators.  To get to the temple, we took a cable car up Geumjeong Mountain and then embarked on an hour-long hike.  The hike was incredibly steep at points and, overall, much tougher than I’d anticipated.  When we finally reached the temple, the group of four decently-athletic young men was drenched in sweat.

Luckily, the temple proved to be worth the walk.  High up on Geumjeon Mountain, the site offered a stunning view overlooking the city of Busan.  The sprawling city was gorgeous; clusters of buildings stood in bunches, nestled between the numerous lush, green mountains that pop up all over the city.

The temple itself was as impressive as the view.  All of the buildings were simplistically elegant and immaculately maintained.  The highlight, no doubt, was the prayer area, which was located between the faces of two stone cliffs.  Several figures, I’m guessing varieties of Buddha, were carved into the faces of the cliffs.  It was unlike anything I’d ever seen.  I’ll have pictures up soon.

That night we went out to Gwangalli Beach, and ended up running into Oh Kiu Guy, who I mentioned in my first Busan post.  But, in case you’ve forgotten about him, or have better things to do that read every inane detail I post on the internets, I’ll refresh your memory.  Oh Kiu Guy (we call him OK Guy) is a dude we met our second night in Busan.  He talked to us for a while and bought us a pitcher.  He works as a manager of a ship manufacturing company.  He was out with several attractive young women, and the way he was ordering drinks we all concluded he’s likely wealthy. 

Anyway, this evening we saw him again and, as it had been a couple weeks since we’d first met, we had to apologize for not calling him.  We had a good excuse though; we hadn’t gotten phones yes.  He told us not to worry and invited us to drink with him.  Surprise!  He was with a group of attractive women again.  Over the course of the evening, we learned that his brother is the starting left fielder on the Lotte Giants (Busan’s baseball team).  People in Busan go crazy for the Lotte Giants.  The OK Guy connection is just getting better and better.

So that was two weekends ago.  Last weekend, Nick, Max, Doug, and I went to Seoul.  Monday was a national holiday in Korea, and we figured that the 3-day window was the perfect time to venture up there.  Sadly, Nick had to work Saturday morning at his school’s open house, so he wouldn’t get in until Saturday afternoon.  So Friday evening just Doug, Max, and I took the KTX bullet train to Seoul.  Took about 2.5 hours.  We got in shortly before 10:30pm, and headed to Sinchon to find a hotel I’d been recommended.  I’d been told that rooms with 2 beds or four sleeping mats went for about $40/night.  When we got there, however, I learned that rooms were $70/night and only came with one bed.  No good.

By now it’s around 11:15pm, and we have no place to sleep.  No need to worry, though, I’ve been assured that Seoul is a 24-hour city with tons and tons of places to stay.  So we go to the five hotels nearby.  All full.  We call a hostel.  All full.  We call another hostel.  All full.  Apparently other people had the brilliant idea to go to Seoul for the 3-day weekend.  But the other people had a second brilliant idea to book ahead.  Shit.

Luckily, Doug knew about a hostel in Itaewon where he’d stayed the last time he visited Seoul (before our EPIK contract started).  We called, and thankfully they had room.  What they did not have, however, was room on Saturday.  They could take us Friday and Sunday, but we’d have to stay elsewhere Sunday.  The owner generously offered us to keep our stuff there Saturday, though, and advised us to sleep in a Jimjilbang (sauna/bathhouse open 24/7, people often sleep on mats) down the road.  Good enough.

First night out in Itaewon was pretty crazy.  It’s really close to a US Army base, so I heard much more English than I did Korean.  I suppose I’ll just list the crazy things I saw in numeric order.  1) Black people!  So many black people.  I’d only seen one in my entire time in Busan.  Saw at least 40 that night alone in Itaewon.  I’m guessing many/all were US Army.  2) An old woman and old man fighting over a can to recycle.  3) A real-life pimp wearing a purple cape and purple fedora.  4) Hookers (apparently a place called “Hooker Hill” is nearby).  5) Transvestites; Seoul is the only city where it’s socially acceptable.  6) GI’s acting like jackasses.  Thanks for helping our reputation abroad, chaps.

After a nice sleep in the IS@K Guest House (which I’d recommend to anyone visiting Seoul), we headed out to adventure.  The first place we went was to see was the Gyeongbukgung Palace.  It dates back to the Joseon Dynasty.  Absolutely incredible.  The grounds are so vast, I just couldn’t get over it given how densely populated the city of Seoul is.  From the palace grounds, you’d look to the horizon and see mountains, skyscrapers, or both.  Pretty cool visuals.  Photos coming soon.

Next we went to Insadong, which is a traditional market.  I didn’t think it was quite as cool as advertised, though, so we didn’t stay all that long.  Not before getting lunch, though, which was delicious.

Afterward we met up with Nick, who dropped off his stuff at the hostel and we proceeded to Namsan Mountain.  The mountain is home to the Namsan Tower, which supposedly has a breathtaking view of Seoul from the top.  I say supposedly because the wait to get up was two and half hours, which was longer than we were willing to wait.  I’ll probably read this sentence in 20 years and kick myself.  But the view from the mountain was pretty sweet nonetheless.

After some dinner we met up with people from EPIK class 2 in Hongdae.  That was pretty fun.  I especially enjoyed sealing my friend Konrad from New Zealand.  Wish that guy taught in Busan.

Around 3am we headed back to Itaewon.  We got in a cab, with Nick in the front, Doug in the back left, me in the middle, and Max on the right.  I don’t remember doing this, but apparently Doug fell asleep on me, I fell asleep on Max, and Max remained awake, hating life.

Once we got to Itaewon, we tried to check into the Jimjilbang.  Then we got a bombshell dropped on us: they were all sold out.  So we slept in a PC Bang, a room full of computers where people go to play computer games.  It reminded me of sleeping in a Manga café in Japan, which I did on Semester at Sea (http://maxsworldadventures.blogspot.com/2010/02/days-22-27-japan.html, days 2 and 3).  Also, the people in these PC Bang were undoubtedly addicted to video games.  They sat, motionless except for their fingers, staring at a screen for hours.  People have died in these places, and I can see why.

After four hours of drifting in-and-out of sleep in our recliners, we headed up to the roof of the IS@K Guest house for a change of scenery.  The rooftop has a pretty impressive view of the city, and we just soaked that up for a while as we got our bearings.  After a leisurely breakfast, we headed to Dongdaemun market.  It’s one of the largest markets in Korea, and had just about everything; food, clothes, hats, books, toys, wigs, etc.  I bought a visor that had a face, ears, and what appears to be a rape whistle.  It cost about a dollar.  Solid purchase.

After exploring the market for a bit, we walked around Chong Gye Chon, a man-made stream in the middle of Seoul.  I had expected it to be pretty lame, but it was actually quite nice.  A peaceful escape from the hubbub of the city.  And it didn’t look nearly as tacky as I’d expected.  Pleasant way to spend an afternoon.

Due to our limited sleep, four hours of exploring took quite a bit out of us.  Also, we had to make a dinner date with some girls from Seoul we’d met in Busan over Chuseok.  So around 3pm we headed back to the guest house to clean up and get some caffeine in our systems.  Max decided to skip the dinner and go back to Busan, as he was exhausted.  So, after showering and shaving, Nick, Doug and I went to dinner to meet the girls.

Dinner was superb.  We went to a Greek place that was exquisite.  I got a mixed plate of chicken and pork to make gyros.  The meat was to tender and flavorful; one of the best meals I’ve had in Korea.  The female company was also nice, as the girls have a great sense of humor and speak perfect English.  It’s a shame they live in Seoul and not Busan.

After dinner, Doug, Nick and I went back to the guest house and drank some beers on the roof.  None of us had the energy to do anything more ambitious.  We were all in bed by 10pm, and slept until around 9am the following morning.

And that concludes our weekend in Seoul.  We took a train back to Busan Monday morning.  It was fun to take the KTX during the day; we got to see a lot of the country side.  It’s incredibly how densely populated and constructed the country is.

Before I sign off, I’d be remiss to the mention going to the Lotte Giants game last night (Thursday).  The games are just so much goddamn fun.  $10 for a ticket in the rowdy section.  Bring in your own beer and food.  Dance and cheer and yell the entire night.  I’ve never been to a sporting event with a better atmosphere.

First Month in Busan -- Some Thoughts (stream of consciousness)

Friends, Enemies, and Parents,

I write to you at the end of a work week, 40 minutes before the final bell sounds and I have two days of sweet, sweet freedom.  Not to say I don't like my job.  I love it.  I'm having a blast teaching; it's impossible not to feed off the energy of cute foreign kids who are eager to learn.  And walking through the halls is surreal.  I'm like a celebrity.  The kids run up to me, yell "Hi!!" and rub my hairy arms.  Kids are really respectful and attentive in class, too, which is quite nice.  But the weekends are awesome because I can explore, enjoy a few beers, and, best of all, sleep in.

Outside of school, one of the first things I've been pleasantly surprised by from life in Korea is that I'm finding the women here very attractive (yes, of course I went there first).  It is indeed a pleasant surprise, because never in my past have I caught yellow fever.  But portion control and exercise is very important here, so pretty much all the women are fit.  the only variable, then, becomes the face, and Koreans have such great skin that their faces are usually very attractive.  And man, oh man, do they show off legs.  Zero cleavage, but shorts and skirts that are shorter than their pockets.

Sadly, foreign teachers I've met aren't that great looking (which is why you won't find this post linked on facebook).  It means I'm probably going ot chase Korean girls, but that's a dangerous game because they're not known to "mingle too freely.  So I'm waiting to meet a girl who blows me away, and then make her my girlfriend.

The main thing I've been doing in free time, even more than looking for an exotic girlfriend, is Tae Kwon Do.  There is a studio half a block from my apartment, and I take classes Monday through Thursday for an hour and a half.  It's a crazy good workout, and once the year is up I should be at least competent in self-defense.  As it stands, all I really know is the fetal position.

On the weekends I usually go out Friday and Saturday nights (often to the beach, because fireworks and drinking are both legal), and then Saturday day and Sunda day I'll go explore somewhere.  There are some pretty crazy fish markets, tons of temples, and lots of good hiking to do once the weather cools down a bit.  I also like to go to sporting events here; the Lotte Giants baseball team is insanely popular and the stadium is rocking.  Plus, tickets are only $8 and you can bring in your own beer.

I'll probably start dedicating some free time to music soon, as I was given a 6-string ukulele by another foreign teacher.  It had been left in his apartment.  I'm a bit confused by it, though, because apparently there are alto and tenor 6-string ukuleles, and I'm too ignorant to tell the difference.  I'm working with the music teacher here to try to figure it out.  I can't wait to wrap my head around it, because the instrument has a beautiful sound.

The food here is AWESOME.  And incredibly cheap.  Stuff your face Korean BBQ places cost about $10.  Traditional Korean food, also delicious, ranges from $3 to $6.  The foreign options are good too; a solid burger and fries runs for about $10, as does a personal pizza.  Big sushi rolls cost about $5.  And, best of all, there is a place by my apartment which sells a waffle wrapped around four scoops of ice cream for 97 cents.  I get those waffles all the time.  If it weren't for Tae Kwon Do I'd be pretty fat by now.

I think that just about covers it.  And with enough time to watch an episode of the Daily Show before I leave.  Mr. Stewart beckons, hasta luego.

New Photos and Videos!

Hi friends!

I finally got internet in my apartment! Total game changer. I've uploaded all the videos that I've taken and about half of the photos. Will try to get the rest of the photos up this evening. Check em out if you're so inclined.

Videos: youtube.com/MaxDaAmateurMusician

Photos: profile.imageshack.us/user/maxrattner (chosen because it does not have a monthly limit on photos and photos can be up to 5 MB. Sadly, the interface is crap. I can make albums but they don't appear to be accessible to public viewers. So use the tags in the upper right-hand corner, that will get you to photos from specific places).

Week in Review

Oy. I’m sorry I haven’t written lately. I know how many of you spend all of your time sitting at your computer clicking the refresh button every 5 seconds in hopes of reading my latest blog entry the instant it’s posted. For those loyal, page-refreshing fans: I’m sorry. I know that you must be thirsty, hungry, and, inevitably, covered in your own excrement. Probably wasn’t worth it. So go clean yourself up, Jeremy.

Jeremy’s poop aside, it’s been a fun and busy week. I started teaching last Monday, which has been a blast. School has been stressful, though, because I have to plan an entire semester’s worth of material for three after school classes by tomorrow. Luckily, I can use the same material for two classes: fourth grade and fifth grade (the goal of the classes is to improve speaking ability, not to teach grammar, so I’m using the same stories, songs, and movies to just try to get the fourth grade class and the fifth grade class talking). The third class, on the other hand, is an English class for teachers, so that lesson plan has taken a lot of thought. It’s tough to think of material which is easy enough for a limited speaker to comprehend but, at the same time, isn’t patronizing. But enough of me wining, let’s get to the good stuff. (Editor’s note: I really just wanted to give Jeremy an explanation as to why I’ve made stew in his own bile for a week). As I’m still busy, I’m going to keep the stories short.

Thursday

Went to school but did very little. Returned home and watched Korean TV.

Friday

Again went to school but didn’t teach. Went out in the evening. Started badly on the girl front. The first Korean I tried to strike up a conversation with said “English very, very, very, very no.”

Later, at a bar with other Max and Nick, Max somehow got himself down at a table with four pretty attractive Korean women. More impressively, he did this while Nick and I were striking out with two gorgeous Korean women at another table. We ended up staying out with them until 3:30am, in the process of which we went to another bar and a karaoke bar. Fun night.

Saturday

Slept until 12:30. Met up with Nick and Max by 2:00. Went to Haeundae Beach (roughly 25 minutes by subway) to walk around. It’s cleaner and more scenic (at least in terms of landscape) than Gwangalli. That said, Gwangalli has a really novel “city meets the beach” feel—skyscrapers come right up to the shore and the impressive Gwangan Bridge stretches across the water—which I think makes it a lot cooler that Haeundae, but I digress. At Haeundae there were lots of foreigners, but nearly 100% of them were huge bros. That was disheartening. I think my favorite part of the visit to Haeundae was watching this Korean woman just spoil this living shit out of her poodles. After she took it off the beach, she put eye drops in its eyes, and then proceeded to wash its entire body in a water fountain, including its butthole. I thought that was funny and weird, especially since they eat dog in Korea.

After hanging around Haeundae for a while, we went to Gwangalli to walk around and get dinner. The weather was absolutely fantastic, so we decided to try to find a place with outdoor seating. It took a while to find a place with a patio and reasonable prices, but we ended up getting a primo table at a Thursday Party restaurant, which is a restaurant and bar company targeting foreigners. I got a chicken breast sandwich with bacon, which was pretty bomb. Also, the waitress took our order in English and gave us forks, which, even though we didn’t use them, I suppose was nice.

The only unfortunate part of the evening was when some toothless crazy Korean man tried to join our table. Before we’d received our food, he came up and said “Hi, can I sit here?” in very broken English. Luckily, Nick was quick on his feet and told him that we had a friend coming. I suppose the man didn’t buy it, though, because he proceeded to yell at us in broken English. The only thing I could make out was “stupid!”

Aside from that mishap, dinner was great. The food was solid, but it was the atmosphere that really made the meal. The weather was perfect. The streets were packed with interesting people to people watch. Most importantly, the area was sparkling with vibrant lights. The star was undoubtedly the Gwangan Bridge, as multicolored lights covered the roads and arches, and they were constantly changing colors. But all the buildings by the water, too, lit up to compliment the majestic bridge.

Now I don’t know what happens at Gwangalli on a typical Saturday night, but as far as I know this past Saturday wasn’t a holiday or anything. So imagine our surprise when, after dinner, we were treated to a fireworks show over the Gwangan Bridge and two different concerts, both on the beach (before you get too jealous, one was a god-awful Christian Rock band singing in Korean. But the other was a smorgasbord of instrumentals and was pretty neat-o). We didn’t stay out too late, though, because we were wiped from Friday.

Aaaaaaand I’m getting long-winded again, back to short form.

Sunday

Went to Jagalchi fish market with Nick and Max. Place is crazy. Packed with vendors, smells awful, fishes of all shapes and sizes everywhere (and being killed everywhere). We got a sashimi lunch, which was pretty darn tasty but more expensive than I’d anticipated.

Other than cleaning my apartment and doing laundry, the only thing on my agenda was to meet another EPIK teacher to pick up a ukulele. It had been left behind in his apartment and he didn’t want it, so he put it up for grabs. Sadly, he missed my last facebook message and didn’t bring it to our meeting. The silver lining was that he was going to play ultimate Frisbee, and since I didn’t want to waste the trip I decided to join. It was pretty fun; a really cool collection of foreigners were playing. And only one bro!

Monday

First day teaching, but only had one class. Just presented a self-introduction PPT. On the way home realized that my Sperrys don’t match. The body of each shoe is the same color, but the flaps which have the holes for the laces are slightly different hues. My suspicion is that I accidentally swapped a shoe with my dad. So check your Sperrys, Pops. We may be burdened with the same shoe affliction. If so, I blame you.

Tuesday

Taught four classes. Definitely picking up on teaching. Received lots of compliments from co-teacher about my “rapid improvement” and lots of swoons from students.

Took a huge dump and clogged the toilet, had to find the 70 year old janitor to plunge it through (they don’t have plungers in the stalls).

Joined a Tae Kwon Do gym by my house. Have class Monday through Thursday with only four other students. For around $80 per month ($5 per class), it’s a steal! They are all Korean, barely speak English, and are all awesome (both personality-wise and in terms of Tae Kwon Do skill).

Wednesday

First class with 3^rd graders today! They’re the cutest things ever.

Tae Kwon Do in the evening. Currently sore.

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And that’s all I have to say about that. Catch ya on the flip. Sorry about all the poop imagery.

Exploring the City

So I had the last two days off from school, as the semester doesn’t start until tomorrow (September 1^st). As I’m new to the city, I took the opportunity to explore the area.

Yesterday, I wandered through Pukyong University, which is right by my house, and continued on to Gwangalli Beach. Pukyong’s campus is fairly dull, though some of the architecture is quite modern and cool. There is also a really nice garden type area with a running stream (not sure where it goes) and lots of plant life. There is a sitting area that is best described (Editor’s Note: by me, not someone who is actually good at describing things) as a Korean gazebo. It’s just like an American gazebo, though the pillars are engraved with Buddhist designs and the roof is the classic “upward half circle, downward half circle” (I believe that’s the technical term) Asian roofing pattern. I decided that I’m going to learn ukulele in that garden, as I recently claimed one that had been left behind by a previous EPIK teacher.

From the garden I went to check out the campus gym, as I was thinking of joining one. Unfortunately, Pukyong’s gym is crap. It’s probably no more than 500 sq feet, and filling sweating, grunting students. No thanks. But nearby is a small, enclosed Astroturf soccer field that’s open to the public. Perfect size for some 4 v 4. Hopefully I’ll be able to organize some games there; it’s too close to not take advantage of.

From Pukyong I walked to Gwangalli beach, which took 20 minutes or so. The walk was nice, and the beach is stunning. From the shore you’ve got an incredible view of the Gwangan Daegyo Bridge and downtown Busan. I think I’ll be spending a lot of time there, too, especially because drinking is legal and, according to wikitravel, “fireworks are tolerated.” Schwing!

Once Max was off work, he and I shopped at MegaMart, which is a superstore chain in Korea. And they’ve got everything. Think Costco, but not as cheap and with more reasonable portions. I got a bunch of frozen stuff, all of which has proven to be delicious.

Today, I started by checking out Kyungsung University, mainly to see the gym. The gym is absolutely gorgeous, but pricey. I’m still debating joining, as it would cost around $41/month and I’d be limited to a 3 hour window (6-9pm) that I could come each day. If I decide to join a gym this will likely be the one I go with, but there is a Tae Kwon Do studio right by apartment that I may join instead. That would probably be more fun, too, so I just gotta check the studio and prices.

After seeing meandering through Kyungsung, I decided to take a practice run to school. When I went in on Monday, my co Teacher Su Jong met me and we took the bus together. However, that was to be in by 10am. If I’m gunning for 8:40, it will be rush hour. And the bus will take over an hour. So I’ll need to take the subway and then transfer to a bus.

Su Jong had given me directions of what to do, but since I lack foresight I neglected to bring them. So once I got off at my subway stop, I was lost looking for my bus stop. It took over an hour and help from three very nice people (only the last person, a kind old man who spoke pretty good English and who approached me because I looked lost, ultimately got me where I needed to be) to find the bus stop. So thank goodness I decided to practice.

But the best moment of the day undoubtedly occurred as I was walking back into the subway station to return home. As I was descending down the crowded staircase, I made eye contact with a Korean guy, who smiled. I smiled back. As we passed, he put his fist out. I bumped it. Turns out he was just checking his watch. Awkward stares ensued.

Now, in my defense, I’ve never seen a person reach across as far as he did to check the time. I just thought he was being friendly and hip to the scene of American first bumping protocol (as I am). But I predict this defense would fall upon deaf ears, and the jury would convict me of being an ugly stupidbrain.

First Weekend in Busan

Hey Gang! Sorry I haven’t written in a while. Orientation was pretty boring with classes from 9am to 8:30pm. Didn’t think you’d care to hear me complain about dry lectures and mediocre food. The lone noteworthy point was that I fell in love with my orientation class teacher named Yuna. But, alas, she lives in Seoul and has a boyfriend. Phooey.

On Friday morning I left Jeonju for Busan at 6:30am. After about a 3 hour bus ride, we arrived at an elementary school to meet our co-teachers. I was picked up by He Jin, my co-teacher, and Su Jong, the school’s EPIK coordinator. They are both incredibly nice and I’m so lucky to be spending the year working with them. Though I will not be teaching with Su Jong, she’ll be helping me with living in Korea. Tomorrow, for example, she’ll be meeting me to take the bus to school and taking me to the immigration office in the afternoon to get my Alien Registration Card (ARC). I need that badboy to get internet and a phone (if I go for a plan instead of prepaid).

Once we collected my luggage, He Jin, Su Jong and I went to our school to meet the principal, vice principal, and go over my contract. The principal and vice principal are both very nice, though only the vice principal speaks English. They each told me that I was very handsome though, which was greatly appreciated. I responded each time by saying “Thanks! I love Korea, because I’m not handsome in America.”

After meet-and-greets and going over the contract, I went out to lunch with my co-teachers. It was a buffet, and while I was up for a refill Su Jong paid the bill! It was exceptionally nice, but I was bit bummed because that was my secret plan to win their good graces. I suppose now I’ll have to put in the effort and just be likable, but that’s so 1997 (Editor’s Note: I don’t know why I picked that particular year. Also, pretty crappy joke).

After lunch, I was shuttled to my apartment in Nambu. I’m not going to bore you with a poorly-written description of the place, so I’ll just let the video I made do the talking for me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttRRPhcb9wE.

There are three reasons I absolutely love my location. First, I am only a five minute walk to other Max’s apartment, and Nick is a 10 minute subway ride away. Second, we are about 20 minutes by foot from Gwangalli beach, which is supposedly one of the nicest in Busan. And third, we are right by two Universities – Pukyong National University and Kyungsung University. This means the nightlife is poppin’ (as the cool kids say), there are plenty of young people around, and, most importantly, they all speak some English! Really excellent.

Anyway, back to my day, because lots of people (read: my parents) want to read about all of the interesting things I do. Once I got into my apartment I immediately (and very interestingly) napped for a couple hours. After I awoke from my slumber, I whipped out the ol’ computadora and learned that my neighbor has wifi with no password. Cha-Ching! So I got on the facebook, chatted up Nick and Maxwell, and we met up for dinner (at the highly authentic Popeyes Chicken) and drinks.

Unwittingly, the first place we wandered into was upscale and expensive. So upscale, in fact, that no one was in it except three beautiful bartenders. After they got us our drinks (the cheapest beer was about $5, which is pricey by Korean standards) they sat down in front of us and stared at us intently. Not awkwardly, they just seemed fascinated by us. They proceeded to ask us, in broken English, several questions about ourselves and America. One bartender in particular struck my fancy, as she had a gorgeous face and really endearing mannerisms. But when I asked her “Nam ga chin goo issae yo?” (translation: do you have a boyfriend?) she sadly said yes. (Editor’s Note: the “sadly” in the previous sentence refers to my sadness. She said “yes” quite happily). Phooey again.

Nothing noteworthy really happened again until the following afternoon, when Max and I tried to get to Eulsukdo, a small island that’s part of the city of Busan, to play soccer. There had been facebook posts about a foreigners league, and we wanted to check it out. Max had been in touch with one of the team managers, who gave him directions to the field. Or so we thought.

We had been told to get off at Hadan, but there were several stops with Hadan in the name. We ended up getting off at the Hadan Hospital stop, and then tried to get directions to Eulsukdo. Unfortunately, the people in Hadan do not speak English nearly as well as those on Nambu. When we explained where we were going, most people only understood the soccer part, and ended up directing us to a soccer field at an elementary school. Luckily, we saw a white person there, who was able to direct us toward where we wanted to go. Unfortunately, it was probably about a mile from where we were.

Following his directions, we were able to find Eulsukdo. On the island, however, we didn’t know how to get to the fields. We were misdirected twice before we finally found the pitch. By this point, we had probably walked for 2.5 miles.

When we finally arrived, two teams were in the middle of playing. As we’d read on facebook, there are three teams in Busan. Busan United was presumably the top team, winning the league for 6 years straight. The team Max had been talking to won its first game 3 months ago. The third team, Inter Busan, didn’t recruit on the facebook page.

After talking to a sub, we learned that Busan United and Inter Busan were the teams playing when we arrived. Unfortunately, we couldn’t talk to the captain of the team Max had been talking to because he was refereeing. Once the game was over, we introduced ourselves and he gave us a spot on this rag-tag team. And when I say rag-tag, I mean really rag tag. The goalie and left mid didn’t speak any English, though they weren’t Korean. I think they were Eastern European, but that wouldn’t make much sense because one of them was black. For the life of us, Max and I couldn’t figure out what the hell they were doing in Korea. There were also three Korean players who didn’t speak any English, one of whom had great ball skills but absolutely no idea how to play the game. And there was one obese guy who could barely move, let alone run, and for whatever reason he was playing midfield. Though I hadn’t played in over 9 years and told the captain as much, he stuck me at center back along with Max.

We played two games, one for a half hour and the other for 20 minutes. Somehow, we only gave up one goal. Most of the credit goes to our keeper and poor shooting, because our mids never came back to help. Both games were spent almost entirely in our end, usually 6 or 7 attackers against 3 or 4 defenders. I played ok; had a few nice plays and a few blunders. I don’t think I’ll continue playing, though, as the team is abysmal and only a couple players on the team made me feel welcome to be there.

Once we were back (which took over an hour as we had to wait 30+ minutes for our bus) Max and I showered and got some grub. We then met up with Nick, who met a foreigner named Chazz while coming to us via subway. Chazz was a teacher in JET, and he seemed pretty cool. He had just taken a tour of North Korea, so that obviously piqued our interest.

Once at the bar, though, the group opinion of Chazz immediately began to sour. He hit on literally every girl he saw. And when the occasional girl gave him the time of day, HE SHOWED THEM HIS PICTURES OF NORTH KOREA. And these weren’t pictures of poverty or anything. These were photos standing with North Korea guards. Literally every girl he showed was offended, but he kept doing it anyway. It sucked.

Luckily, a very friendly guy named Oh Kiu Guy began talking to Nick and me in English. He was really nice, spoke English well, and bought us a round of beer. Turns out he is the manager of the ship manufacturing company, so Nick and I guessed he is pretty well off. At the end of the evening he gave us his number, telling us to call him so he could take us out with his friends. Once we get phones we will definitely be calling him.

Well that’s all for now. I’d apologize for rambling, but I’m guessing no one will actually read this far. Toodaloo.

Adventures in Korea!

Oh hey friends! Long time no talk, at least via the blog. How I’ve longed for warmth of your watchful gaze upon my supple text. But enough small talk, I’ve got a story to tell.

I flew to Seoul from SFO via Singapore Air. All I can say that is WOWZA. The service was absolutely fantastic. The food was delicious. The drinks were plentiful and, even sweeter, free. The famous “Singapore Girls” lived up to expectations; they were gorgeous. The male flight attendants were pretty dashing, too. All around a simply lovely experience.

I did, however, have my worst foot-in-mouth moment of my life. I’m talking a monumental, gargantuan, foot of a giant infested with athlete’s foot. Straight in my mouth. And the giant had a toe fetish.

It occurred when I was probably 6 drinks in, and feeling a pretty healthy buzz. I was feeling antsy as I’d been sitting for 4+ hours, so I went to the back of the plane to stretch. Across the way, I see a guy with the same idea as me. He looked strikingly like a young Harry Potter. He struck up a conversation, and it turns out that we’re both EPIK teachers. After shooting the poop for 20 or so minutes, he says to me “We’ve been talking for 20 minutes now, I’m Ashley by the way.” His name threw me a bit, so I responded by saying “Hey, I’m Max. Nice to meet you. I think you’re the first guy I’ve ever met named Ashley.” Ashley looked at me stunned. He said “Are you serious? I’m a girl.” Yikes.

Thankfully, Ashley couldn’t have been classier about it. She laughed it off, saying it was a new haircut that she knew looked boyish. We talked for another 15 minutes or so, but the entire time I was mortified. I said goodbye and I haven’t seen her since.

I’m fairly certain that I would not have made this egregious error had I been sober. But, being tipsy, I just never questioned the initial judgment I’d made when seeing Ashley from 20 feet away. Curse my nearsightedness (and my drunken stupidity).

After the flight, I had to take a 4 hour bus ride to Jeonju University, where we’re having EPIK orientation for a week. We didn’t get to our rooms until midnight, and then had to be up for a medical exam at 7:40 the following morning. Since we were having our blood tested, we weren’t allowed to eat or drink. So I went to bed famished and thirsty. But at least the internet’s fast!